What would a mother giraffe do with a teen with LD?

Posted on 13. Jul, 2010 by Joan Azarva in Articles

I recently received this e-mail from a young man in his 20′s with a learning disability,  John Murphy.  It made so much sense, I decided to post it for you to read.

Honestly, are you helping or hurting your
learning-disabled adolescent?

It comes naturally to help someone you
love when they are struggling.

Since you have been there for every step
your teen as taken, it is probably easy to step in and fix a situation for them.

One of the biggest areas of a teen’s life
where parents actually HURT their child
is stepping into a school situation
too soon.

In school, if you have a learning difficulty,
every part of the “system” is there
to help.  Because you are considered
“special”, teachers are willing to bend over
backwards.

This type of system weakens your teen’s ability
to figure things out on his own.

Do you know what mother giraffes do when
their offspring are born?

They KICK the newborn giraffes!

Your first reaction is…. HOW CRUEL!
Why would a creature ever do that to its
own kind?

If the mother giraffe did not FORCE the
newborn to start moving, a lion could easily kill the animal.

Are you setting up your teen to be easy
prey?

I would hope not.

I developed the worst habit in school
because of the “system.”  It came to
the point that I would abuse the system
because it was SO easy!  TOO EASY!

If you are stepping in when your teen
needs to be struggling, you are handicapping
his ability to develop.

Am I saying you should let them figure
out everything on their own?  NO!

The point is: Challenge makes us better.
Struggling forces our mind to think critically.

Challenge and Struggle is a good!

Have you ever thought the lack of academic demands on many high school students in Special Education does them harm?

Think about this.  The less we expect, the less we get.  Why should students go above and beyond, if the system is satisfied with minimal effort, and all their problems are solved for them?

Low expectations weaken our kids and certainly do nothing to prepare them for the unique challenges of college.  When they cross that threshold, life comes at them like a bucket of ice water poured on their head.  They are truly unprepared to deal with the new demands.  And because a college semester lasts just 15 weeks, students feel as if they’ve boarded a run-away freight train that’s careening out of control.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

As John wrote, “Challenge makes us better”.

But do you want to wait until your teen gets to college to challenge him?  Or does it make more sense to start preparing now?

What if you were forced to enter a world where all rules as you knew them were turned upside-down, and you had to master this environment in 15 weeks?  What would happen to your self-confidence every time you made a mistake?

Can you imagine yourself in this situation?  If so, you can understand why so many students with learning differences quit college in frustration.  New rules, expectations, structure (or lack thereof), peer group, academic subjects, etc. are suddenly foisted upon them, when they have no clue how to deal with them.

They are caught off-guard.  That’s why I used the “bucket of ice water” analogy above.

If you are willing to take action NOW, your teen doesn’t need to be caught off-guard.

When you prepare your teen now, you give him a GPS system before he leaves the nest.

Wouldn’t it give you peace of mind knowing your teen isn’t going to lose his way at this critical juncture?

Isn’t it a parent’s job to protect a child from getting eaten by “prey”?

Maybe we can take a lesson from the mother giraffe.

THANKS, JOHN – I COULDN’T AGREE MORE!

ANY READER COMMENTS?

Joan

Tags: ADHD, best practices, challenge, challenges, learning difficulties, learning disability, learning disabled, post secondary transition, postsecondary, students with learning disabilities